Tuesday, June 17, 2008

To live and die in LA

The 110 freeway is the most poorly constructed freeway in the greater los angeles region. With that in mind, you shouldn't blog from your phone while driving on it like I'm doing now.
I had to make my pointless downtown los angeles trip today to pay a fix it ticket I received from officer gutierrez in april. I had expired regestration because I'm irresponsible.
I've never been in trouble with the law short of not paying tickets on time. No police record or anything like that. I'm a good girl.
I got my first traffic violation the day I got my license. I was 17. December 2nd 2004. I had 2 people in the car with me and I made a left turn during hours where left turns were not permitted. Fuck that. The officer who issued my ticket was nice though and he didn't suspend my license. He just made me go to boring traffic school for 8 hours.

I got to the courthouse around 10:45am and I didn't have 7 dollars on me for parking so I had to go to mcdonalds to use the atm.
Note to self: never wear dior glasses while in the ghetto. Its bad for your street cred, white girl.
I go and park and make friends with obviously white trash south bay kids to find my way into the courthouse. We chit chat, find out what each other is there for, and then part ways. Friends for life. I step inside and the entire place reeks of weed. Dumpster blacks love to carry weed on them at all times. I don't know why this is because it used to happen all the time at MAC. Its one thing to smoke good weed but it is another to smell shwag weed. Yuck. I probably should have prefaced that statement with the courhouse was filled with black people. 6 mexicans and 1 white girl....myself. Nothing like seeing a pregnant 17 year old first thing in the morning.
I'm standing in like and this fat slob gets in line behind me. Everytime I move up, the slob moved up too, to the point of where he is invading my personal bubble. He yawns in my direction and it smells like he's been dead for 18 years. At this point, it is my duty to myself to find any way possible to distance this guy from my area. It gets to a point where I'm literally doing splits to make him give me my space.

I decided my biggest pet peeve while in line today: I really can't stand it when people talk about me in front of me. Okay, I get that I have marvelous eyebrows and I look really angry all the time, but I'm like a porcupine. I use my face as a weapon against any idiocy that could come my way. I'm very very nice, I just don't tolerate bull. I'd rather walk at a rapid pace than talk with a 16 year old about thebackpiece he wants or someones dad about his biker tattoos...unless the dad is hot and has lots of money he wants to spend on me.
There were two women behind me talking about my tattos in spanish.
NWSFLASH LOS ANGELES: NOT ONLY MEXICANS UNDERSTAND SPANISH. STOP BEING SO FUCKING IGNORANT.

In short today I learned the following: pay your regestration on time, obey the law, always carry 7 dollars on you just in case, the 110 is horrible, brush your teeth, don't blog on the freeway, pms isn't all that bad and mind your business.

Here's to hoping I don't get fired today!

2 comments:

Haley said...

Dude. I feel yr pain. Like f'realzzz.

katalina said...

oh hell no, are you calling my neighborhood ghetto?!

just kidding, but always wear designer sunglasses in it. way more amusing.