Friday, May 9, 2008

what am i REALLY doing?

i am the first person to poke fun of myself. after like, 9 years of having a livejournal, i'm gonna wear my big girl pants and jump on the bandwagon that is blogging @ blogspot.
ever get annoyed when girls you're friends with say "oh, my life!" well, i'm one of those girls. sometimes shit happens and i can't fucking believe it. so, i'm going to document these things.

my grandmother is the worst. my mom's mom. i'll probably talk about her a whole lot. if i prayed, i'd pray to god i am not like her when i get old. she's 67, grouchy, self centered, naggy, embarassing and most of all she is ALONE. as in, divorced. as of 3 years ago. who gets divorced when they're old? dying alone doesn't sound like too much fun. don't get me wrong. i love grandma but she is only cool to hang out with for maybe 5 hours tops. thank god she lives in florida so i don't have to see her too often.

anyway, when i was 15 years old, i went christmas shopping with her (yes, jews celebrate christmas) at the promanade mall. i'm very observant, so i pointed out this very happy go lucky asian man walking across the street. "grandma, look how happy that guy looks!" i said to her. she turned to me, looked me dead in the eyes and said "WHO GIVES A SHIT?!" my jaw dropped.

imagine if marge simpson's mother had a perma-cold and a jersey accent.


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